Category: 
I recently facilitated a Public Speaking Workshop for one my small business clients, during which I emphasized three major, over-arching concepts that are super important for expanding and developing your skills as a speaker. I think I’ll end up talking about all three of them, but for now I’m going to address number one.
There are fundamental differences between speaking to individuals and speaking to groups. Understanding these differences can elevate your skill level as a speaker. Obviously, one difference between speaking to individuals and speaking to groups is that there are more people in a group setting, and thus more minds to coordinate and focus on a particular conversational direction. Another difference is that there are usually very clearly defined roles in a public or group speaking situation (”speaker” and “audience” or “speaker” and “listeners”), whereas in most conversations between two individuals, each individual is both a speaker and a listener.
The most important difference I can think of is actually a little less obvious. It has to do with responsibility and participation. In a conversation between two individuals, for example, each conversational participant feels some sense of responsibility for participating in the conversation. If someone starts a conversation with you, you’re most likely going to participate in that conversation. Even if they’re a complete stranger and the conversation is completely uninteresting, chances are, you will at least respond politely at first.
You could say that as human beings, we experience some level of responsibility or obligation to engage in conversations at an individual level, at least in some minimal capacity, if not becoming totally involved. To not do so would be considered rude or socially unacceptable by most people. Not participating in a conversation that someone starts with you, when it’s clear that YOU are the intended audience, is generally frowned upon or perceived as anti-social.
Here’s where it gets interesting. In a group setting, we are absolved of that responsibility to participate. As audience members in a group setting, we do not experience any individual responsibility or obligation to engage or participate in conversation with the speaker. “Human Being” as audience member can be outwardly aloof and anti-social without setting off any alarms for socially unacceptable behavior. In fact, non-participation is totally acceptable at the group audience level. There is no obligation to participate in any way, unless it’s created by the speaker.
This is why public speaking can be so disconcerting or nerve-wracking, especially for beginners. As human beings, we are deeply dependent on the external reassurance, approval and participation we’re used to getting when we talk. Standing in front of an audience and suddenly losing that support, or appearing to lose that support, can be a very difficult and unsettling experience, if you don’t know what it is you’re experiencing.
If you don’t understand this fundamental difference between speaking to individuals and speaking to groups, you’re likely to think that your audience doesn’t like you, or that you’re not making any sense. You’re likely to think it has something to do with you, or your performance as a speaker, as opposed to realizing that this has nothing to do with you personally and has everything to do with the dynamics of public speaking.
As a speaker, the challenge is not to take this personally. The challenge is to find ways to elicit participation from the audience. The challenge is to compel your audience to participate, understanding that they have no responsibility or obligation to do so.
Possibly related:
