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Dear Doctor Dot-Connector,
I went on a date recently and I’m not really interested in seeing him again, but he doesn’t seem to be getting the hint. I mentioned I was going to a birthday party and he asked if it was the kind of party I could bring a date to. How do I let him off the hook without being mean or hurting his feelings?
-Nancy No Second Date
Nancy,
The important thing here is to tell the truth about your intentions (or lack of intentions) with your would-be suitor. His comment about the party tells me that he’s not picking up on any subtle hints you may have projected, so you need to be clear that you’re not interested in pursuing a relationship with him.
Try saying something like: “I enjoyed spending time with you, but I really don’t feel any spark or connection between us. I hope you understand”.
Don’t let your concern for his feelings prevent you from telling the truth about how you feel. Hiding your feelings and indulging his hopes serves no one, and dishonors both of you. He’s big enough to handle the rejection, and you’re big enough to tell him how you feel.
Good luck!
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