Category: 
Whatever we throw out the window when confronting failure determines the level of our success.
I had this thought today while I was talking to a close friend of mine about a project we’re working on that seems to be failing. The results we’re producing are pretty miserable as far as we can tell, and there’s a tremendous pull to chuck the whole thing out the window.
What I realized is that this pull represents our attachment to the results we expected to produce, and our disappointment over our failure to produce those results.
Where do we draw the line between playing full out to produce the results we intended and being miserably attached to results we’re not really going to produce? This is a familiar place for me. I’ve spent a good deal of time skirting that edge, and admittedly, I’ve spent a good deal of time on the side of misery and attachment.
No matter how many times I seem to experience this lesson, human nature dictates that faced with confronting failure, I will become attached for as long as I empower the belief that my failure to produce a result means anything about my success as a human being.
Back to what goes out the window…
When confronting failure, human nature compels us to judge ourselves. The extent to which we take it personally and inflict judgement upon ourselves determines our reaction to the failure. The more judgment we levy, the more apt we are to chuck the whole thing out the window in disgust and frustration.
Success is measured by what’s left. However much we throw out the window as a reaction to failure, what’s left is the measure of our success. In other words, the level of our success is determined by how much of our reaction to failure comes from someplace other than jugement and attachment.
If we’re interested in success, or in being successful, what there is to do is to invent a new context inside of which to view our failures. A context inside of which every failure is a critical and necessary component of success. We have to wrap our minds around a different way of being in the face of failure.
In my experience, successful people hold success itself as a context.
Possibly related:
Yes, we should learn how to face our failures. Doing so will allow us to measure our success. This is practically important to every endeavor we get hold of.
I think a focus on learning is the most powerful focus to cultivate and maintain. Success is important and failure does hurt, yet if one is doing work which involves human beings getting too much tied up to sucess can be both perilious and misleading. Good questions to ask are:
did i do my best?
what have i learnt?
[…] Verve Coaching has an interesting post called Failure and the Measure of Success which discusses the failure vs. success mindset and how it influences the outcome. […]
[…] Erek Ostrowski presents Failure and The Measure of Success posted at Verve Coaching. […]
The conceptual view of success and failure that you present opens some interesting perspectives. Even if the initial goals are not reached there are ofte n resudial goals that were attained and that can very well turn out to be more important than the inital goal itself. Very nice piece here, something I will think about for sure.
/jesper
The 14th Carnival of Entrepreneurs
I am proud to be hosting this week’s Carnival of Entrepreneurs, run by Ben Yoskovitz at StartupSpark.com. There were a wide variety of posts submitted, from practical advice, motivational tips to curious ideas. If you didn’t make it in thi…
[…] Erek Ostrowski talks on Failure and The Measure of Success […]
Great article. I needed to read this today, for personal reasons. It applies so much to life as well as business. Thanks!
Verve,
I agree that is what we must do…but throwing that part out is a might be tough in practice.
Dave
http://www.BusinessAdviceDaily.com/
Erek,
Agree…you have to view yourself as worthy of success in order to accept success. In the same way we should not fear failure, as it is an opportunity to learn.
Dave
http://www.BusinessAdviceDaily.com/