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Regularly, I’ll ask a client to make a list of all the things that are causing him/her to doubt him/herself with regard to a particular goal or set of results. This practice is helpful in determining why we stop ourselves from succeeding…why we stop short of fulfilling our intentions in a specific area.
If you can identify the internal monologue that stops you and communicate it to someone else, you can move forward un-encumbered.
Here’s an example of a client who emailed me today, and my response…
What causes me to hesitate or doubt myself, with regard to planning the meeting? The following feelings:
It’s too hard.
This is only an experience you’re having. It’s usually a function of not planning enough or not thinking all the way through a process and articulating the details of who and how.
I don’t know how to do it.
This might actually be true! Consider declaring it out loud to people who can teach you how to do it. You know who they are.
I don’t know what I am doing.
This is a conversation you have with yourself when you don’t want to confront the amount of work you know you have to do to succeed in an area.
I can’t do it
Maybe not, but that’s irrelevant. Find the people who can and enlist them.
I am going to fail at it.
Entirely possible. Who cares?
No one is going to like it anyway.
This is a conversation you have with yourself when you don’t feel acknowledged and appreciated for all the hard work you’ve already done. You may need to ask for the acknowledgment you need.
I have more important things to do.
Undoubtedly true. You have way more important things to do. Delegate and hold your people to account. Delegating successfully means they take the task on as their own. They’re clear about the context and purpose and completing the task is a matter of self-interest (they see how it serves them).
I’m tired.
You’re tired because of all the energy you exert resisting doing what you know to do.
I deserve a break today…..
No. You deserve a break tomorrow. Do the work today that needs to be done to have this event be successful. When the work is done, you’ll have earned a break and you need to make sure you actually take one.
I’m on my own.
Only if you say so
You may not agree with everything I’ve written. I would ask you to try to make me right. Look for how it fits. Your mind is what’s keeping all of these limiting conversations in place. Don’t trust it. Trust me. I’m completely unattached and listening for your success.
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